HackWerker.com

Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s Bro Joe wrote a typically amusing post on the social network about how he was at his headquarters of Starbucks making a phone call when he looked up to see all the aspiring screenwriters and insane hobos sharing the space angrily “shushing” him because he was talking too goddamned loudly. That was all well and good until Joe ended the post by stating that “I grew up with a brother who became an actor and asked you to “pass the peas” like he was performing at Lincoln Center. You had to shout to be heard in our house.”

It’s true that Jonny’s indoor voice is set by default to a Spinal Tap 11 and he is often told to keep it the fuck down by people having coffee in the adjoining Zip Code. However, this was the first time that Jonny could remember being blamed for someone ELSE’S vocal intensity simply by virtue of shared DNA. He had no idea that was how the universe works but the next time he experiences one of his legendary intimate dysfunctions, he’s going to lay the blame at Bro Joe’s feet…or anyway about a yard higher. There’s nothing more important than family. Now pass the peas.