The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
The third in the “Man Who Farted” series was inspired an experience Hack had on a packed escalator where a dude whose cornhole was positioned immediately in front of Hack’s face cut a massive whopper at point blank range.
Hack wrote the book while in the intensive care unit.
“The Man Who Farted” was such a huge success that Hack wrote this sequel in which a group of people are forced to take a long car ride during a blizzard while the title character keeps cutting massive farts. The plot sounds thin but this is one of Hack’s longest books at 1,217 pages.
When Hack’s friend world famous dominatrix Snow Mercy was traveling internationally, he dropped acid and hallucinated that the crew of the airplane she was on took over the jet and she had to overpower them with her whip. To this day, Hack thinks that this actually happened.
Hack wrote this while staying in a Motel-6 on a book-signing tour and becoming obsessed with one of the cleaning ladies, only to have her steal his van while he was trying to seduce her. Hack was philosophical about the rejection and still corresponds with the woman during her prison term.
When someone walked in on Hack in the bathroom passionately kissing his own reflection in the mirror, he claimed that he was researching a new novel and that this half-hearted effort which came out a few weeks later was the result. The reality is that Hack has been seen making out with his own reflection countless times, as early as 1949, so no one really believed him.
When Hack’s friend Rosanna De Candia announced that she was starting a podcast titled Jersey Reads the Classics, he wrote this novel to help promote it. He starts out promisingly, detailing the challenges Ms. De Dandia faced in the creating the project, but after about 25 pages it devolves into yet another account of the brutality he endured at the hands of his father and ending in a graphically described sex fantasy he had about a postal clerk he had purchased stamps from that afternoon.
Hack wrote this during a hospital stay when one of his testicles shattered after he was kicked in the crotch during a bar fight. He’s convinced that it’s a true story but he was so doped up that he doesn’t realize that he was just humping an inflatable love doll someone got him as a joke gift, and no one had the heart to tell him.
Considering that he had a shattered testicle at the time, it’s still a pretty impressive accomplishment.
Hack is an obsessive fan of “Third Rock from the Sun” star French Stewart, and claims one of the highlights of his life was briefly sharing an elevator with the actor. The only thing that marred the experience, Hack insisted, was when Stewart “let a massive one rip between the third and fourth floors,” so he went home and wrote this novel about it. His cover artist Jonny M. was also in the elevator and claims that it was actually Hack who cut one, a statement which put additional pressure on their already tense relationship.
One of the countless celebrities Hack is obsessed with is Twitter influencer Lisa Glass. He wrote this to try and impress her but its publication led instead to her filing a restraining order, as usual.
Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s success with women has caused Hack to despise him, but it has inspired some of Hack’s best work. Hack wrote this after Jonny told him of the dozens of women who expected him to be with them sexually on Valentine’s Day.