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This is a horror story where a pretty but sadistic blonde who delights in shooting off fireworks on the 4th of July in order to terrorize the animals in the neighborhood. The pets then band together to anally violate her and then feed on her flesh as a warning that anyone who shoots off fireworks without giving a thought that they’re scaring all the animals within hearing distance is a total a-hole.
This is the last of Hack’s “Harvey” trilogy in which the ghost of Harvey, the murderous six-foot tall invisible rodent, comes back from the dead in search of human blood and makes Elwood P. Dowd his mind slave. Dowd is placed in an asylum for the criminally insane as Harvey slaughters and then feeds on the population of the small town where Dowd lives until they are the only ones left. Harvey finally comes into the asylum with Dowd thinking that Harvey will free him, but it eats him instead.
This is a rare Hack Werker romantic novel set in Paris where every goddamned scene is set in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.
This was one of Hack’s most controversial titles.The city’s mob kingpin has his goons kidnap a senior from a nearby Catholic high school and play cards to see which of the town’s supervillains will take her virginity. Boris gets in the game to save her and just as he is of the verge of winning, he loses the last hand with four aces to the kingpin’s royal flush (Hack doesn’t really understand poker). But just as the kingpin is about to deflower her, Boris takes out a semi-automatic and blows everyone at the table away. It’s a feel-good escapist piece of fluff.
Hack swears up and down that this was a true story but it turned out to have the exact same plot as an old Linda Blair movie he watch on Cinemax once while he was high on reefer, so I kind of doubt it.
Every time Hack wrote one of these Junior Ranger books he swore it would be the last one but kids loved them because while their parents thought they were wholesome stories for boys, they were actually packed with scenes of angry anal sex. In this one, a pack of man-eating tigers terrorize Yellowstone Park (Hack is adamant that wild tigers roam Yellowstone Park, despite all evidence to the contrary) and Ranger Joe has to disperse them gently and nonviolently. When he does, a gorgeous heiress who was camping at the park thanks him with a session of angry anal sex.
Hack grudgingly allowed his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris to sit in on a poker game he was hosting and Boris cleaned him out for over $10,000. Hack wrote this book as a means of squaring the debt.
Women are held captive as sex slaves on a pirate ship with lots of scenes of angry anal sex. It’s pretty boilerplate Hack.
Hack used to go to a diner where he would stare at a beautiful woman eating her breakfast with such intensity that she became unnerved and was certain that he wanted to kill her. Hack became so offended that he actually did devise a plot to kill her but it got derailed when he found out that her boyfriend was devising a plot to kill him. Long story short, Hack switched to Denny’s but wrote this book about the experience.
Hack wrote this to try and capitalize on the “sex and sandals” craze popularized at the time by the film “Hercules” starring bodybuilder Steve Reeves. It’s pretty good but like so many of Hack’s books, it loses focus and the last 50 pages are about a spaceship battle. It developed a small cult following five years after its original publication when LSD came into vogue and the plot finally made some sense.