The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack wrote this novel in 1958 after his first experience with reefer resulted in his institutionalization an the death of his girlfriend at the time, who took her first puff and jumped out of a window thinking she could fly. Hack wrote a sequel about his recovery entitled “Sex Nurse,” which came out shortly afterwards.
When Hack heard that his idol French Stewart was starring with his wife Vanessa in the play “Harvey” about an invisible rabbit, he assumed that the titular transparent bunny was a murderous giant rodent who manipulated his mind slave Elwood P. Dowd into killing people to give him fresh flesh to feed on. When Hack was informed that it was actually a gentle fantasy, he wrote this novelization of his concept to set things right.
“Werker’s most depraved work yet. A perverse collection of misspelled sexual scenarios strung together by a loose plot in which he is clearly working out issues from his disturbing upbringing. This ‘novel’ (and I use that word loosely) is nothing but a cry for help from a deeply twisted man.”
– The Tolucan Times
This was the first of Hack’s hugely successful “The Client Was A…” mystery series. A beautiful heiress is found murdered until she shows up at a detective’s office asking him to solve the crime, even through she has nothing to pay him with but anal sex. The exciting climax at the top of “the big Jesus statue in Brazil” is considered one of Hack’s most famous sequences.
Hack wrote this to suck up to “Titanic” star Frances Fisher on her birthday. It resulted in her first restraining order against him.
The publication of this book was delayed six times because every time it was about to be rolled out, a new mass shooting took place in the USA. Ultimately, the entire run of books had to be dumped off in Australia.
This was intended to be a fiercely critical demonization of President Trump’s racist policies and behavior and was fiercely opposed by Hack’s publisher John Kane, who feared it would alienate him from his core readership in the Bible Belt where Trump maintains enormous popularity. It turned out to be much ado about nothing because the intolerant conduct Hack vilified was interpreted as heroic by the morons who read his books and it sold out at Klan meetings and MAGA rallies.
Hack was had a fear of women on their periods dating back to when his first wife would kick him squarely in the scrotum when she was having hers so that he could live through the experience with her.
Hack had been approached to write his autobiography for decades but when he finally got around to it, his brain was so fried from alcohol and drug use that he could barely remember anything about his own life. The first fifty pages are an accurate depiction of his abusive relationship with his father but the rest of the book is accounts of sexual fantasies he’s had of women throughout his life; from major movie stars to supermarket cashiers he glanced at in passing. It became one of his all-time best sellers.
When Hack discovered that there was a small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he worked as a janitor, he volunteered as a technician with the expectation that he would meet scatterbrained actresses who believed in Free Love. To his disappointment, they all turned out to be intelligent, mature women who found him as repellent as any other women do.