Author: admin

On Strike

When the Los Angeles Teachers Association went on strike, Hack showed his support for their cause with this story of an innocent young boy at an oppressive boarding school who is brought to sexual maturity by his smokin’ hot homeroom teacher. No one had any idea what it had to do with the teachers’ strike but the book was named as the number one most confiscated item by the educators when they came back to work.

Ziegfeld Whore

Hack wrote this when he was hanging around the small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he works as a janitor and he became obsessed with one of the actresses who performed there. In the book, the rising starlet gets hooked up with mobsters who come to her dressing room after the show and her life goes into a rapid descent until she winds up as the night janitor at the Shakey’s across the street from the theater that she used to perform at.

The Thing That Made Love

Hack’s publisher John Kane got in legal hot water for putting Hack’s name on this novel by David V. Reed and trying to pass it off as a Hack Werker book in Europe. Critics saw through the rouse because of the comprehensible plot and vast majority of correctly spelled words, making it obvious that Hack had no part in writing it.

I Married a Zombie

When he heard that a young friend of his had proposed to the love of his friend’s life, Hack thought of the effect that his own six failed marriages had on him and wrote this sci-fi classic as a cautionary tale. For the record, his friend and his bride have now been happily married for about a year, surpassing the total of all of Hack’s marriages combined.

The Perfect Saturday

Hack tried taking LSD only once in his life and this book is a chronicle of everything he saw when he was high on it. After the novel came out, Hack’s pusher admitted that the LSD was just a Tic Tac that he sold to him for ten dollars, adding “that guy is so crazy that I’ve seen him be trippin’ after watching an episode of ‘Breaking Bad.'”

Murder at the Golden Globes

When Hack’s screen for the 1973 Women in Prison movie “Chained Sluts in Bondage” (called by Sight & Sound magazine “on the shortlist of the worst films ever made”) failed to receive a Golden Globe nomination, he exacted revenge with this novel about a scandalous murder taking place at the ceremony. The New Yorker said it was “on the shortlist of the worst books ever written.”

Vocal Vamp

Hack met a voiceover actress who would eat the Shakey’s where he worked and he decided to try some sexual experimentation by hiring her to talk in cartoon voices while his then-girlfriend and he made love. It quickly became a fetish and he was unable to achieve an erection without hearing the voice of Betty Boop or Minnie Mouse. The actress and the girlfriend were creeped out by this development and walked out of his life, leaving him to gratify himself by masturbating to Saturday morning cartoons. Hack wasn’t able to overcome his addiction to that fetish until he discovered hardcore BDSM later that year.