The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
A warrior princess enters the world of men to find a mate, where she meets a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction to copulate with. She can only get pregnant anally, so they spend the rest of the novel having backdoor sex until she finally spits out a tiny egg (so that she won’t ruin her smokin’ hot body with pregnancy) that hatches into another gorgeous woman who needs to have anal sex with the pulp fiction writer to survive. Hack considers this one of his best books.
The title of this book was supposed to be “Mob Informant” but the copywriter who came up with the text for the cover took his conversation with publisher John Kane too literally and laid out this instead. Hack was angry until the new title sold three times as many copies as expected.
For the third installment of the “Dangerous Gams” saga, Hack pitted detectives Jonny and Boris against each other as Snow Mercy played a dangerous game of cat and mouse. He painted himself in the corner at the end so he took the cop-out of making it all a dream, but there was enough graphic sex to make the fans happy.
Hack became so obsessively jealous of his cover artist Jonny M.’s ability to effortlessly attract women that he called it “nothing but a goddamned cult.” He wrote this book to mock Jonny but it became such gospel to the countless women who desired him that they mimicked the Jonny branding ceremony on the cover by getting Jonny tattoos. Hack nearly lost his mind when he heard about it.
Hack’s friend world famous dominatrix Snow Mercy is a fierce advocate of taking proper precautions against the spread of Covid-19 but Hack defied her orders and went out without a mask to celebrate her birthday on April 13th. This is the painful story of what happened when she found out about it.
Hack had no intention of writing another of these “Dude with the Giant Wang” books until his cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe told him “I think I speak for everyone when I say any novel cover where you are fully clothed is a winner!” So Hack felt that he had no choice.
This may be Hack’s most deeply personal story.
Hack intended this as a stern morality tale about the brothel he worked in as a child but he made the sex sound so awesome that any moral statement was completely lost on the reader.
Hack makes a point of dropping by whenever his cover artist Jonny M. is creating new cover art so that he can hit on the models, always with humiliatingly unsuccessful results. He wrote this story where a model is thrown out of her home and seeks refuge in the arms of a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer which Hack swears is based on a true story but when he is pressed for the name of the model, he always pretends to have an epileptic seizure.
While people were “social distancing” during the Covid-19 pandemic, Hack found himself taking a lot of videoconference meetings for which he only bothered to dress above the waist. So he took the titular character from his earlier success “The Dude with the Giant Wang” and put him in the same situation. It sold like hotcakes.