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Hack was still so turned on by the beating his friend Rosanna De Candia gave him that inspired “Madam Rosie” that when he got out of the hospital, he started annoying her so that she would do it again. The result was this novel.
Hack got in an argument with his friend Rosanna De Candia which ended in her pummeling the living hell out of him. This turned Hack on more than he could say so he wrote this book from his hospital bed.
Hack begged his producer John Kane for years to let him appear in the cheap porn flicks shot in Kane’s Van Nuys garage, but the most Kane would ever do is let Hack work the clap board before takes and occasionally serve as a fluffer. He turned those experiences into this highly fanciful novel in which a Catholic schoolgirl starts at the bottom of the porn industry and cuts a ruthless path to becoming the biggest star in the business. The character of Bruno Rathburn, the fabulously successful porn star whose genitals are so huge that any actress who performs in a sex scene with him runs the risk of being cut in half, was clearly based on Hack himself. He later admitted in interviews that being a porn star was his dream life and he deeply resented Kane for not allowing him to live it.
Before he took the job as night janitor at Shakey’s Pizza Parlour that he held for over fifty years, Hack briefly made ends meet as an errand boy at a corporate headquarters where he claimed that he was passed around by the female executives as a sex toy. The story breaks down when you realize that he was there in 1960 where there were no such thing as female executives but Hack tended to get violent if challenged on the subject, so it’s best to just let it go. Anyway, Hack claims that this book is based on his experiences there.
The story of a high-end gigolo. Hack swears that this is based on his actual experiences in the trade but records show that he was recovering from a penile fracture he suffered in a bar fight during the period it takes place, so his claims are dubious.
The story of the downfall of a young gay prostitute. Hack claims that it is total fiction but refuses to explain why he has the main character’s name tattooed on his taint.
One of Hack’s friend Rosanna De Candia’s seventeen Instagram profiles is “The Frugal Fashionista” in which she illustrates her ability to dress like a million bucks on a five dollar budget. This novel was yet another failed effort on Hack’s part to try and get into Ms. De Candia’s fashionable pants, which netted him nothing but a major league ass-kicking from her the first time she saw him after reading it.
Hack based this story on his third marriage which he intended to stage as a sham wedding to get a woman he was obsessed with to have sex with him. She turned the tables on him and replaced the defrocked minister he hired to perform the ceremony with a real justice of the peace, so their marriage was legal and lasted for six months until she filed for divorce on the grounds on mental cruelty. It was the longest-lasting of Hack’s six marriages.
This novel was inspired by an unpleasant incident in Hack’s past when he tried to pass himself off as an evangelical minister. He was ultimately run out town on a rail and some of the tar and feathers that they covered him in remains embedded in his anus to this very day.
Hack based this novel on an experience his cover artist Jonny M. And his pug Boris had when they stopped at Barstow for gas during a road trip and were seduced by a trio of sex-starved beauties. As soon as he completed the book, Hack made another of his many failed suicide attempts by sticking his head in the pizza oven of the Shakey’s restaurant where he works as a janitor. Since it was an electric oven, he realized after about three hours that it wouldn’t put him out of his misery and he went back to cleaning toilets.