This novel is about a gorgeous woman who throws herself at Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. Based on a true story.
The Three-Day Weekend
Category: Beautiful Babes
Horror Speakeasy
When he heard that horror movie star Graham Skipper was hosting a “horror speakeasy,” Hack got so excited that he sat down and wrote this scary book about what he imagined would take place complete with chills, thrills and a murder mystery that a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer solves and is rewarded with an anal sex session with the sexiest female guest. What actually would up happening was that Hack got drunk beforehand, showed up at the wrong address and was brutally beaten by some drug dealers whose score he had walked in on.
Mother’s Day
This story of an suburban housewife and mother who satisfies her obsession with anal sex once a year by hiring a notorious gigolo turned out to be a phenomenal success with Hack’s core readership of sex-starved perverts in Bible Belt states. Regrettably, he was sued by ABC for ripping off The Brady Bunch (a show he had never heard of). Hack had to sell one of his kidneys to pay off his legal fees.
Running from the Mob
A beautiful young woman used to jog around Hack’s neighborhood and he decided to stalk her by running after her. He suffered a heart attack on his first attempt and wrote this book while in recovery.
Reefer Alley
Hack wrote this novel in 1958 after his first experience with reefer resulted in his institutionalization an the death of his girlfriend at the time, who took her first puff and jumped out of a window thinking she could fly. Hack wrote a sequel about his recovery entitled “Sex Nurse,” which came out shortly afterwards.
Fridays of Lust
“Werker’s most depraved work yet. A perverse collection of misspelled sexual scenarios strung together by a loose plot in which he is clearly working out issues from his disturbing upbringing. This ‘novel’ (and I use that word loosely) is nothing but a cry for help from a deeply twisted man.”
– The Tolucan Times
The Client was a Corpse
This was the first of Hack’s hugely successful “The Client Was A…” mystery series. A beautiful heiress is found murdered until she shows up at a detective’s office asking him to solve the crime, even through she has nothing to pay him with but anal sex. The exciting climax at the top of “the big Jesus statue in Brazil” is considered one of Hack’s most famous sequences.
Age of Consent
Hack wrote this to suck up to “Titanic” star Frances Fisher on her birthday. It resulted in her first restraining order against him.
The Autobiography of Hack Werker
Hack had been approached to write his autobiography for decades but when he finally got around to it, his brain was so fried from alcohol and drug use that he could barely remember anything about his own life. The first fifty pages are an accurate depiction of his abusive relationship with his father but the rest of the book is accounts of sexual fantasies he’s had of women throughout his life; from major movie stars to supermarket cashiers he glanced at in passing. It became one of his all-time best sellers.
Backstage Romance
When Hack discovered that there was a small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he worked as a janitor, he volunteered as a technician with the expectation that he would meet scatterbrained actresses who believed in Free Love. To his disappointment, they all turned out to be intelligent, mature women who found him as repellent as any other women do.