Hack wrote this after having a dream where a character comes out of a movie screen at a drive-in and guns him down. It’s scientifically a lot more plausible than many of Hack’s book and not a bad read at that.
Murder at the Drive-In
Category: Celebrity Cameo
Superstar
Hack wrote this book to coincide with his celebrity crush Frances Fisher’s birthday in the hopes that she would lift her restraining orders against him. It did not work.
The Case of the Dead Parrot
Hack is a huge fan of the great John Cleese so he crapped out this novel to determine what actually happened to the Norwegian Blue. It turned out to be a suicide.
This was the second time that Hack’s cover artist Jonny M. posted his artwork on Instagram and the celebrity subject “liked” it. The first was the great Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles opining on Hack’s horror novel “Walk Like an Egyptian.” This time, it was when the great Mr. Cleese clicked his approval of “The Case of the Dead Parrot.” Hack wants both of those acknowledgements carved on his headstone.
They Wanted to Sell Books
The title of this book was supposed to be “Mob Informant” but the copywriter who came up with the text for the cover took his conversation with publisher John Kane too literally and laid out this instead. Hack was angry until the new title sold three times as many copies as expected.
The Macho Squad
Hack desperately wanted to serve in uniform but when he tried to enlist during the Vietnam war, he was judged to be too psychotic for the military. He was briefly a member of a private militia funded by a high-ranking member of The John Birch Society, but he was drummed out for fragging his commanding officer after he mocked the size of Hack’s tiny genitalia.
The Kiss of Death
When someone walked in on Hack in the bathroom passionately kissing his own reflection in the mirror, he claimed that he was researching a new novel and that this half-hearted effort which came out a few weeks later was the result. The reality is that Hack has been seen making out with his own reflection countless times, as early as 1949, so no one really believed him.
Be My Valentine
Hack’s cover artist Jonny M.’s success with women has caused Hack to despise him, but it has inspired some of Hack’s best work. Hack wrote this after Jonny told him of the dozens of women who expected him to be with them sexually on Valentine’s Day.
The Return of Strawberry Alice
Because of his obsession with Frances Fisher, Hack has written many sequels to her movies. This is one of the better ones in which Strawberry Alice, the stern brothel madam in “Unforgiven,” hooks up with a dashing outlaw and his loyal pug.
The Five-Way
Hack wrote this novel after his cover artist Jonny M. described his plans for the weekend, which were a literal playing out of the circumstances of the title. Hack changed the participants in the orgy to female TV newscasters he had crushes on and jumped out a third floor window immediately after finishing the manuscript. He ended up with only minor injuries while Jonny had to deal with a case of chlamydia.
Too Many Dames
When his cover artist Jonny M. complained that he had too many women to sexually satisfy in his life, Hack wrote this book in a fit of jealous rage. It’s not a bad read.