Hack based this story on an incident that took place after the publication of “The Three Way” where his friend Rosie De Candia tried to murder him at a book signing after she she her picture on the cover.
Murder at the Book Signing
Category: Crime
Vigilante Pug
Hack was inspired to write this book after he was being threatened by some young thugs in the Shakey’s parking lot where the van he lives in is parked, and his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris scared them off by peeing on their shoes. When Hack leaned over to pet the little dog in gratitude, Boris peed on his shoes.
Jonny & Boris of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
This book was the result of Hack getting hammered and watching a bunch of Dudley Doo-Right cartoons with his cover artist Jonny M and his pug Boris. There’s a very disturbing sex scene between Boris and a Canadian moose who describes himself as a “power bottom.”
Manly Heroes
A mysterious stranger shows up to clean out the city of criminal scum, so the women he saves thank him with gifts of anal sex.
“Either one of Werker’s worst or best books, depending on your point of view.”
-The Tolucan Times
Murder for Hire
When he found out that his cover artist Jonny M. was an actual friend of his biggest celebrity crush Frances Fisher, Hack became so consumed with jealousy that he wrote this novel as retribution. As with many of Hack’s novels though, he lost focus while writing and the last three quarters of the thing jarringly turn into a story that has nothing to do with what it started as. There is one amazingly graphic orgy scene between the inhabitants of two warring planets that almost makes it worthwhile.
Queens of the Underworld
Hack’s friends Lacie and Robin are a married lesbian couple who maintain a YouTube channel about the joys and pitfalls of maintaining a sex-sex relationship. Hack is afraid of both of them and wrote this book to suck up to them because he’s terrified of what they’ll do if he ever makes them angry.
The Screw-Ups/Operation Macho Men
Hack claimed that the novella “Operation: Macho Men” was a true account of his service with the Special Ops division of the armed forces during the Vietnam War. In truth, Hack was rejected for the service because of bone spurs in his feet and acute alcoholism and this book is actually a poorly written update of the John Wayne movie “The Sands of Iwo Jima” with (as always) some scenes of anal sex thrown in.
Larceny at the Louvre
Two world-class art thieves attempt to steal the most famous painting in the world from the Louvre Museum in Paris but spend most of their time having anal sex. The Louvre would later use this novel as part of their training for new security guards.
Innocence Caged
This was one of Hack’s most controversial titles. The city’s mob kingpin has his goons kidnap a senior from the Van Nuys Boarding School for Hot Virgin Girls, ages 18 to 22 and play cards to see which of the town’s sexual deviants will take her virginity. Boris gets in the game to save her and just as he is on the verge of winning, he loses the last hand with four aces to a local perv’s royal flush (Hack doesn’t really understand poker). But just as the perv is about to deflower her, Boris takes out a semi-automatic and blows everyone at the table away. It’s a feel-good escapist piece of fluff.
Angel of Death
This was the last in Hack’s series of book about the brutal murder of his cover artist Jonny M. after a public outcry that he knock it the fuck off. He hasn’t published a book on that theme since but he continues to write them for therapeutic reasons.