Category: Crime

Jonny & Boris Meet Veronica Mars

Hack had never heard of Veronica Mars but he saw a Hot Sauce Challenge video on YouTube with Kristen Bell and he fell head-over-heels in love with her, so he wrote this mystery novel as a means of winning her heart. It only resulted in yet another restraining order being filed against him but at least it’s a pretty good read.

Brain Transplant in the Wax Museum

Hack had long wanted to write a mystery set in a wax museum and when he finally got around to crapping out this one, he was so happy with the result that he celebrated by dripping hot candle wax on his junk for two hours. The book became one of his all-time best sellers and his royalties paid for the skin grafts he would need to repair the damage.

NAMbLA Busters

When Hack and his publisher John Kane went out to dinner recently, they were overheard reminiscing about the North American Man/Boy Love Association (akA NAMbLA), a pedophilia and pederasty advocacy organization that dissolved in 2006. The next morning, Kane found Hack asleep in his office with this manuscript on his desk.