The Return of the Contiguous Man

This sequel to “The Contiguous Man” picks up after Hack thought his obnoxious friend had died of a brain hemorrhage and Hack placed the first book in his coffin. It turned out that the friend hadn’t died at all and Hack had attended the funeral of someone he had never met (confusing the hell out of the widow), so when the friend showed up at the van where Hack lives when he was in quarantine from the coronavirus, Hack had a brain hemorrhage.

Dangerous Gams and The Mystery of the Heart-Shaped Bed

For the third installment of the “Dangerous Gams” saga, Hack pitted detectives Jonny and Boris against each other as Snow Mercy played a dangerous game of cat and mouse. He painted himself in the corner at the end so he took the cop-out of making it all a dream, but there was enough graphic sex to make the fans happy.

The Stud Trainers

Hack took a correspondence course in the 1960s that he learned about from the back of a matchbook that promised to teach him how to seduce ladies. He claims that the skills he picked up transformed his life, although police records from that time show that he was arrested 17 time for “lewd behavior and attempted molestation.” When confronted with those numbers, Hack snorts “show me the records on the two women who didn’t call the police!”

Social Distancing

When Hack heard that everyone had to stay indoors because of the Covid-19 virus, he figured that meant that he could coerce beautiful young woman into shacking up in his bug-infested van. Instead, the few he was able to speak with carried six-foot poles to ensure that people were keeping their proper distance and if Hack tried to get any closer than that, they would crack him over the head with them.