Murder By Jury

Hack enjoyed his series on the murder of his cover artist Jonny M. so much that he continued it despite receiving death threats from Jonny’s legions of admirers. This one’s an Agatha Christie rip-off where Jonny is killed at a party and the guests have to act as detective to figure out who did it. We’d tell you who the murderer is except that Hack (as usual) lost focus so the last twenty-five pages are an angry rant against his abusive father so he never reveals who the murderer is.

Scandal in the Tabloids

When Hack learned that his cover artist Jonny M. was having an affair with his celebrity crush Frances Fisher, he wrote this salacious tell-all designed to take them both down. As with all of Hack’s scheme, it backfired spectacularly as the book was an international best seller and Jonny and Ms. Fisher became more popular than ever. As for Hack, his publisher John Kane got all the profits from the novel and Hack was hit with massive libel suits which destroyed him financially.

Jonny Macho

Hack was having a drink with his cover artist Jonny M. and one of the gorgeous women Jonny inevitably has with him when a drunk started harassing the young lady. Jonny responded with his fists and when three friends of the drunk tried to come to his defense, they were all taken out on stretchers. As much as Hack despises Jonny, he was impressed by the display and wrote this novel about it.

Village of the Hot Chicks

A hotshot pilot and his dog navigator are shot down in a village populated by gorgeous women where pro-Trump fascists have taken over and they must rescue them. Since this is a Hack Werker novel, the women thank them with an anal orgy. It becomes pretty implausible by then but up until that point, it’s kind of exciting.

Blood on the Ice

Hack’s friend Glenn T. Simon used to regale Hack with stories about his daring days as a semi-professional hockey player which Hack immortalized in this novel. After it was published, it came out that Simon was really nothing more than a waterboy who had to retire when players on his own team gave him a “wedgie” that pulverized both his testicles.