Jonny & Boris Meet Veronica Mars

Hack had never heard of Veronica Mars but he saw a Hot Sauce Challenge video on YouTube with Kristen Bell and he fell head-over-heels in love with her, so he wrote this mystery novel as a means of winning her heart. It only resulted in yet another restraining order being filed against him but at least it’s a pretty good read.

Always Check the Back

When his cover artist Jonny M. had a wonderful reunion with an old friend, Hack was consumed with jealousy because whenever he encountered someone from his past, they tried to kill him. So he wrote this novel out of revenge. It’s terrible.

Brain Transplant in the Wax Museum

Hack had long wanted to write a mystery set in a wax museum and when he finally got around to crapping out this one, he was so happy with the result that he celebrated by dripping hot candle wax on his junk for two hours. The book became one of his all-time best sellers and his royalties paid for the skin grafts he would need to repair the damage.