Hack’s third book about the tenth century queen, this one written while he was having an acid flashback. Whatever your expectations are about this thing, it’s way weirder than that.
The Dragons of Eleanor of Aquitaine
Category: Theater
The Secret Loves of Eleanor of Aquitaine
Hack’s obsession was still at it height after seeing Frances Fisher and Gregory Harrison perform James Goldman’s play. This book is nasty, even by Hack’s standards.
The Escape of Eleanor of Aquitaine
After Hack saw Frances Fisher and Gregory Harrison in this play, he became obsessed and wrote several novels on the subject. He doesn’t believe in doing any research on his books (which take him between two to four hours to write), so yeah.
The Lion in Winter
Hack wrote this as soon as he heard that his celebrity crush Frances Fisher was performing the play of the same title. As always, he did no research so he thought the story was about a literal lion. It’s best read under the influence of weed.
Harvey: The Feeding
This is the last of Hack’s “Harvey” trilogy in which the ghost of Harvey, the murderous six-foot tall invisible rodent, comes back from the dead in search of human blood and makes Elwood P. Dowd his mind slave. Dowd is placed in an asylum for the criminally insane as Harvey slaughters and then feeds on the population of the small town where Dowd lives until they are the only ones left. Harvey finally comes into the asylum with Dowd thinking that Harvey will free him, but it eats him instead.
Harvey: The Reckoning
Hack’s novelization of the play “Harvey” was so successful that he wrote this sequel where, after the hero Elwood P. Dowd finally frees himself of being the savage rodent’s mind slave and destroys in by feeding it into a gigantic meat grinder, Harvey’s ghost comes back for revenge. After that, it plays out pretty much exactly like it did in the first book.
Harvey
When Hack heard that his idol French Stewart was starring with his wife Vanessa in the play “Harvey” about an invisible rabbit, he assumed that the titular transparent bunny was a murderous giant rodent who manipulated his mind slave Elwood P. Dowd into killing people to give him fresh flesh to feed on. When Hack was informed that it was actually a gentle fantasy, he wrote this novelization of his concept to set things right.
Backstage Romance
When Hack discovered that there was a small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he worked as a janitor, he volunteered as a technician with the expectation that he would meet scatterbrained actresses who believed in Free Love. To his disappointment, they all turned out to be intelligent, mature women who found him as repellent as any other women do.
Ziegfeld Whore
Hack wrote this when he was hanging around the small theater across the street from the Shakey’s where he works as a janitor and he became obsessed with one of the actresses who performed there. In the book, the rising starlet gets hooked up with mobsters who come to her dressing room after the show and her life goes into a rapid descent until she winds up as the night janitor at the Shakey’s across the street from the theater that she used to perform at.
Me Too
When he first heard about the Me Too movement, Hack was horrified because he had a long history of masturbating in front of women for years. So he wrote this book in support of the crusade in the hopes that its leaders wouldn’t put him to death when they took over. His fear turned out to be for naught because his genitalia is so tiny that none of the women realized that he was playing with himself in their presence.