The Love God
#TrumpFail
Hack’s political commentaries are surprisingly insightful. He wrote this novelization of Trump’s failed summit with North Korean dictator Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and its pretty accurate, down to a grotesquely graphic golden shower scene that even prompted pro-Trump rednecks to buy it.
Enemy of the People
Hack’s view of what happens to Trump six months after he leaves office. It won Hack his first Pulitzer Prize for fiction.
Junior Ranger and the Idiots of Shaver Lake
When his cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe (the basis for the Junior Ranger books) skinned his knee on a hike and acted like it was a life-threatening injury, Hack used it as the basis for this novel. To this day whenever the book is mentioned, he snaps “I was this close to contracting gangrene!” (Editor’s note: he was not anywhere close to it.)
Reefer Mob
A female undercover cop undercover cop poses as a reefer addict to infiltrate a reefer mob but becomes addicted to reefer in the process.
Day of Reckoning
This is a highly romanticized version of he time Hack made a list of his enemies with the plan of getting revenge on all of them in one day. In the book, the main character (a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction) guns them down one by one. In real like, Hack collected bags of his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris’ poop with the idea of placing them on his enemy’s porches and lighting them on fire. But while he was driving to his first target’s house, the bags caught fire in the back of his van, rendering it uninhabitable for three months. In the time that it was airing out, Hack was forced to sleep on a park bench where random dogs would frequently poop on him.
Titanic II: Ruth’s Story
This was one of Hack’s many attempts to impress “Titanic” star Frances Fisher. As soon as it hit the shelves, his publisher John Kane was inundated with cease-and-desist orders and had to pull all copies from circulation. Undaunted, Hack got Ms. Fisher’s address from a “map of the star’s homes” and had a copy delivered to her. Regrettably, the map was woefully inaccurate and it wound up at the house of a plumber is Los Feliz, but he reported enjoyed the book thoroughly.
National Emergency
Hack had an intense crush on MSNBC news commentator Rachel Maddow and wrote the novel about her. In real life, Ms. Maddow is a happily married lesbian but Hack depicted her in the book as a heterosexual nymphomaniac who made a sex slave of a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction and was obsessed with anal sex. But for those details, it was pretty true to life.
The Valentine’s Day Ball
This was one of Hack’s infrequent attempts at a conventional romantic love story. As usual, he lost interest halfway through so the last 100 pages are just an angry rant against his abusive father.
Forbidden Valentine
This was based on the time Hack visited hiss friends Lacie and Robin on Valentine’s Day. He somehow never realized that they were in a committed lesbian marriage and thought that they wanted him for a three-way. This is that humiliating story.