Author: admin

The Insane Plot of Doctor Mercy: Female Mad Scientist

Hack wrote this third entry in the “Doctor Mercy: Female Mad Scientist” saga when he awoke from a dream which told him that Covid-19 comes from the butt. It turned out that he had suffered from such bad gas that night that the woman he was sleeping with had to be rushed to the hospital, where she eventually caught Covid-19. She said the the effects of the virus weren’t anywhere near as bad as living through a night of Hack’s monster farts.

Nude Hula-Hooping

Hack saw a story on his local news about this teenage “trend” and he was shocked at repercussions to society, so he spent the next month hanging out in parks and playgrounds hula-hooping in the buff to research this book. It was only after its publication (and he had been put on the national register of sex offenders) that he realized that nobody was doing nude hula-hooping and that the station televised articles on similar made up “teenage trends” about once a week to scare paranoid parents into watching.

The Mystery of the Nude Vlogger

Hack wrote this after seeing his friend Rosanna De Candia in the Zoom vlogcast “Why the Show Must Go On” from the Mental Health Association in New Jersey. Ms. De Candia was interviewed about using creativity to get through the isolation of the Coronavirus quarantine, and provided moving insight into the issues many people were struggling with. Hack’s byline is misleading because Ms. De Candia was obviously fully-clothed throughout but he was heavily drunk while watching and convinced himself that she was completely nude. He experiences the same phenomenon while watching old episodes of “Friends” on TBS, which is why he watches old episodes of “Friends” on TBS .

The Pervs of Skid Row

This was a “memory piece” from Hack’s teenage years when he and a girlfriend would taunt the bums in New York’s Bowery district by shamelessly making out in front of them. The bums finally had enough and surrounded the pair, let the girl go but made Hack stay and French kiss every one of them until he’d learned his lesson. They were surprised when he showed up for the next three weeks in a row for more lessons.

Heavy Petting

Hack wrote this after watching his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris effortlessly pick up women by playing sad songs on a local dive bar’s tinny piano. After his set, Boris would take one of them to a table in a dark table and have them scratch him behind the ears until their fingers cramped.