One night Hack stopped by a hole-in-the-wall tavern and quickly realized that it was a gay bar. This is the story of that night.
Glory Hole
Author: admin
The Morning After
This is based on yet another of Hack’s revenge scams that backfired on him. He made a list of everyone who had wronged him and then made a plan to have sex with all of them only to watch their horrified faces the next morning after they realized what they’d done. But the first person that he tried it with passed along a rare STD that caused his penis to shrink to microscopic size, where it remains to this day.
Professor Morlock and the Zombie Slaves
This is one of several novelizations Hack wrote for the popular “Professor Morlock” horror movie series. It was based on the time Hack got pissed off at a bunch of people he hung around with so he developed a serum to turn them into zombies in his kitchen sink. He tried it on a couple of them while they slept and while it didn’t get the desired effect of turning them into zombies, it did wind up killing them so the problem was taken care of.
Saved By Two Idiots
When his cover artist Jonny M. and his pug Boris saved a beautiful woman from being hit by a car, Hack was furious that she rewarded the pair (Boris with a case of Milk Bone dog biscuits, Jonny with a weekend of intense sex) instead of recognizing them as the idiots he knows them to be. Hack wrote this novel to educate the world about the truth as he sees it regarding the two.
The Love God
#TrumpFail
Hack’s political commentaries are surprisingly insightful. He wrote this novelization of Trump’s failed summit with North Korean dictator Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and its pretty accurate, down to a grotesquely graphic golden shower scene that even prompted pro-Trump rednecks to buy it.
Enemy of the People
Hack’s view of what happens to Trump six months after he leaves office. It won Hack his first Pulitzer Prize for fiction.
Junior Ranger and the Idiots of Shaver Lake
When his cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe (the basis for the Junior Ranger books) skinned his knee on a hike and acted like it was a life-threatening injury, Hack used it as the basis for this novel. To this day whenever the book is mentioned, he snaps “I was this close to contracting gangrene!” (Editor’s note: he was not anywhere close to it.)
Reefer Mob
A female undercover cop undercover cop poses as a reefer addict to infiltrate a reefer mob but becomes addicted to reefer in the process.
Day of Reckoning
This is a highly romanticized version of he time Hack made a list of his enemies with the plan of getting revenge on all of them in one day. In the book, the main character (a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction) guns them down one by one. In real like, Hack collected bags of his cover artist Jonny M.’s pug Boris’ poop with the idea of placing them on his enemy’s porches and lighting them on fire. But while he was driving to his first target’s house, the bags caught fire in the back of his van, rendering it uninhabitable for three months. In the time that it was airing out, Hack was forced to sleep on a park bench where random dogs would frequently poop on him.