Tryptophan Seduction
Category: Damsels in Distress
The Casting Couch
F-Marry-Kill
Stairway to Hell
This book is not related to Hack’s later novel with the same title. He just writes so many books that he repeats himself a lot.
Fingered
The Final Mission
Hack wrote this on his last day of vacation from his job as night janitor at a Shakey’s pizza parlor. He was so depressed about it that he ended the novel by having the earth explode just so that he wouldn’t have to return to work.
MAGA Science
Hack thought that Donald Trump supporters were the biggest group of idiots that ever collected on this planet but they also made up his core readership, so he wrote this novel praising their protests of the Covid-19 quarantine. Hack’s literary output has included some of the most inane scientific mumbo jumbo ever printed but whenever he is asked about this book, he testily replies “it’s moronic.”
The Stud Trainers
Hack took a correspondence course in the 1960s that he learned about from the back of a matchbook that promised to teach him how to seduce ladies. He claims that the skills he picked up transformed his life, although police records from that time show that he was arrested 17 time for “lewd behavior and attempted molestation.” When confronted with those numbers, Hack snorts “show me the records on the two women who didn’t call the police!”
The Peter Pan Complex
Hack’s close friend Rosanna De Candia started the second edition of her podcast Jersey Reads the Classics with the JM Barrie perennial “Peter Pan.” Hack wrote this novel about his own experiences with the book as a tribute.
The Macho Squad
Hack desperately wanted to serve in uniform but when he tried to enlist during the Vietnam war, he was judged to be too psychotic for the military. He was briefly a member of a private militia funded by a high-ranking member of The John Birch Society, but he was drummed out for fragging his commanding officer after he mocked the size of Hack’s tiny genitalia.