Hack’s close friend Rosanna De Candia started the second edition of her podcast Jersey Reads the Classics with the JM Barrie perennial “Peter Pan.” Hack wrote this novel about his own experiences with the book as a tribute.
The Peter Pan Complex
Category: Damsels in Distress
The Macho Squad
Hack desperately wanted to serve in uniform but when he tried to enlist during the Vietnam war, he was judged to be too psychotic for the military. He was briefly a member of a private militia funded by a high-ranking member of The John Birch Society, but he was drummed out for fragging his commanding officer after he mocked the size of Hack’s tiny genitalia.
The Dude with the Giant Wang Comes to Easter Dinner
Hack had no intention of writing another of these “Dude with the Giant Wang” books until his cover artist Jonny M.’s brother Joe told him “I think I speak for everyone when I say any novel cover where you are fully clothed is a winner!” So Hack felt that he had no choice.
The Flasher with the Micro-Penis
This may be Hack’s most deeply personal story.
His Love Child
When he heard that his cover artist Jonny M. had two “love children” named Jonikwa and Jon Jr. whose mother was constantly hounding him for her monthly child support checks, Hack was so delighted that he sat down and wrote this book to publicly embarrass Jonny. As it always happens when Hack plots to ruin someone, the plot backfired horribly because the book was a bestseller and Jonny successfully sued him for libel so that he was able to set up trust funds for the kids and never had to write a check again.
Confessions of a Pulp Art Model
Hack makes a point of dropping by whenever his cover artist Jonny M. is creating new cover art so that he can hit on the models, always with humiliatingly unsuccessful results. He wrote this story where a model is thrown out of her home and seeks refuge in the arms of a Hack Werker-like pulp fiction writer which Hack swears is based on a true story but when he is pressed for the name of the model, he always pretends to have an epileptic seizure.
Junior Ranger and the Deadly Virus of Mt. Corona
With Covid-19 in full swing, Hack decided to bring the Junior Ranger saga back to life to have Ranger Joe do battle with the virus. It had Hack’s usual scientific research and attention to detail.
Social Distancing
When Hack heard that everyone had to stay indoors because of the Covid-19 virus, he figured that meant that he could coerce beautiful young woman into shacking up in his bug-infested van. Instead, the few he was able to speak with carried six-foot poles to ensure that people were keeping their proper distance and if Hack tried to get any closer than that, they would crack him over the head with them.
The Masked Creatures
When Hack went out grocery shopping for the staples of his diet during the coronavirus scare (Jack Daniels and Hershey bars), he found himself surrounded by so many people wearing surgical masks that he had a panic attack and collapsed. He woke up in Tijuana the next day with this manuscript in his pocket.
Jesus is Kinky
This novel was based on Hack’s experiences growing up in the brutally harsh Romanian Catholic Church that his strict father Vlad dragged him to every Sunday. Now an avowed atheist, Hack sometimes reenacts episodes from his youth following a typical church service where he is Vlad and a prostitute with an open mind and a high pain tolerance portrays him.