Category: Movies and Television

Citizen Boris

This was a total hatchet job Hack wrote when he became consumed with jealousy after Boris tagged along with him at a book signing and the people there were only interested in getting Boris’ paw print. The novel’s resolution where you learn what the title character’s final words “rose plug” means is disgusting.

Duck By Duckwest

Hack wrote this for Donald Duck Day on March 13, so designated because Donald’s birthday is said to be on March 13th in the 1949 short film Donald’s Happy Birthday. However, Donald actually made his debut on June 9, 1934 in the animated short film The Wise Hen so the powers that be at Disney decreed that THIS is actually Mr. Duck’s birthday and that June 9th is the OFFICIAL Donald Duck Day.

When cover artist Jonny M. (who also modeled for the main character by taking thousands of dick pix of his legendary misshapen genitalia and Photoshopping them until he came up with one that looked reasonably normal) was told of the two dates, he tersely responded “All I know is that my junk is freezing.”