Sex for Sale
Category: Sex Workers
Man Lessons
The Tramps of Fawlty Towers
A prostitution ring runs in secret out of a small, family-owned hotel in Torquay, Devon, England. The British Broadcasting Company sued publisher John Kane over an alleged likeness to one of their sitcoms with a similar setting and characters, which Kane responded to by telling the “Limey bastards” to “try and cross over the pond and find me” and immediately stashed all of his assets in a Cayman Islands account. The court case is still pending.
The Starlet
Hack begged his producer John Kane for years to let him appear in the cheap porn flicks shot in Kane’s Van Nuys garage, but the most Kane would ever do is let Hack work the clap board before takes and occasionally serve as a fluffer. He turned those experiences into this highly fanciful novel in which a Catholic schoolgirl starts at the bottom of the porn industry and cuts a ruthless path to becoming the biggest star in the business. The character of Bruno Rathburn, the fabulously successful porn star whose genitals are so huge that any actress who performs in a sex scene with him runs the risk of being cut in half, was clearly based on Hack himself. He later admitted in interviews that being a porn star was his dream life and he deeply resented Kane for not allowing him to live it.
Hunk for Hire
The story of a high-end gigolo. Hack swears that this is based on his actual experiences in the trade but records show that he was recovering from a penile fracture he suffered in a bar fight during the period it takes place, so his claims are dubious.
Rent Boy
The story of the downfall of a young gay prostitute. Hack claims that it is total fiction but refuses to explain why he has the main character’s name tattooed on his taint.
Bad Girl Alley
A gorgeous young virgin enters the seamy world of prostitution in order to find her missing father and discovers that she digs it. The ending has the mob boss who kidnapped her daddy torn limb from limb by a grizzly bear that she befriended.
It’s pretty wild.
Santa’s Mistress
Hack’s life-long belief in Santa Claus began when the madam of the brothel he worked in as a boy told him that she was Santa’s mistress, and that Saint Nick was into “rough trade” and that he would beat her sadistically on a regular basis. Hack spent the next forty years trying to track down the jolly old elf so that he could kill him.
Revenge of the Sex Slaves of Sex Island
Hack wrote this to appease all the people who were pissed off about Sex Slaves of Sex Island. It turned out they they were even more pissed off about this.
Reefer Whore
A fairly accurate account of when Hack’s reefer habit was at its worst and he became a gigolo to pay for it. When he started, he envisioned himself being put up by gorgeous millionairesses but his only clients turned out to be middle-class men who were desperate to hide their homosexuality from their wives. The novel became Hack’s biggest seller after Oprah included it in her monthly book club although since his publisher John Kane still owned the profits from the contract Hack originally signed with him, he didn’t see a penny. Ironically, he made more money as a gay hooker.