The website of the greatest pulp fiction writer who ever lived
Hack based this novel on the trophy wife of a multi-millionaire he once knew whose spouse mysteriously disappeared the day after Hack was heard bragging to all of his friends that she’d agreed to have sex with him if he murdered her husband. The police declared the case unsolved when she disappeared the day after Hack was heard complaining to all of his friends that she’d reneged on her promise to have sex with him.
When he found out that his cover artist Jonny M. was an actual friend of his biggest celebrity crush Frances Fisher, Hack became so consumed with jealousy that he wrote this novel as retribution. As with many of Hack’s novels though, he lost focus while writing and the last three quarters of the thing jarringly turn into a story that has nothing to do with what it started as. There is one amazingly graphic orgy scene between the inhabitants of two warring planets that almost makes it worthwhile.
Hack wrote this to appease all the people who were pissed off about Sex Slaves of Sex Island. It turned out they they were even more pissed off about this.
This was originally written in 1965 when two waitresses at the Shakey’s pizza parlor he was the night janitor at conned him into believing that they wanted a 3-way with him when all they really wanted was the use of his van in the pizzeria parking lot to engage in illicit lesbian sex. They locked Hack out of the van as soon as they got inside and while it rocked violently back and forth, he wrote this novel in his head.
The two waitresses spent twenty years as Catholic nuns and are now married to each other and run a feminist bookstore in Portland, Oregon.
“The Man No Woman Could Resist” was one of the hundreds of short stories Hack wrote about seducing pop legend Linda Ronstadt. In it, the superstar singer stalks a Hack Werker-like writer of pulp fiction novels until she shows up unannounced one night at his penthouse apartment for a night of violent anal sex. He wrote it while defending himself a restraining order placed against him by a 55 year-old singing waitress who he kept badgering to join him in the van that he lives in for a night of violent anal sex.
Hack was coy about his obsession with actress Lynda Carter when he wrote “The Amazon Warriors” that was influenced by her “Wonder Woman” TV series. In this book, she’s actually the lead character although Hack doesn’t seem to comprehend that the actress and her Wonder Woman character aren’t one and the same and has Ms. Carter actually doing battle with Donald Trump and kicking his pudgy orange ass in the process.
Hack was a huge fan of the TV sitcom “Yes, Dear” and fell madly in love with the character Kim Warner. He ultimately became obsessed that Greg Warner, her husband on the show, wasn’t worthy of her and he wrote this novel in an attempt to win Kim Warner’s heart. When he received a letter from network attorneys explaining that Kim Warner was a fictional character and that Jeanne Louisa Kelly (the actress who played her) was happily married in real life to a different man, Hack had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized for six months.
Hack originally wrote this in 1958 as a conventional horror tale titled “The Mummy’s Curse” but when his cover artist Jonny M. told him of his affection for Bangles’ lead singer Susanna Hoffs, he rewrote it with Hoffs and Jonny as the lead characters (since Jonny always depicted himself in the role anyway). When Jonny posted his cover art on his Instagram account, he said said “it resulted in one of the highlights of my miserable life”:
Back in the late 1960s, Hack and some friends of his would sometimes play a game of brackets to decide who was the sexiest celebrity. They ultimately gave it up because every time they played, the winner was Natalie Wood. When Ms. Wood tragically drowned in 1981, Hack had one of his many nervous breakdown and if he death is mentioned to him now, he becomes violent and insists that she is still alive and looks exactly as she did in “The Great Race.” When he does book signings, fans are required to sign a disclosure promising that they won’t bring her up in his presence.
Actress Jenny Agutter fell onto Hack’s radar after he watched a single scene from the sci-fi “Logan’s Run.”
It seems that Logan (played by Michael York) and his scantily-clad girlfriend Jessica (Ms. Agutter) have been on their eponymous run for a while when they inexplicably happen across some animal furs in an icey cave. Jessica suggests they put them on but Logan, being a red-blooded dude, insists that they take their wet clothes off first “before they freeze on us.” Because this is a movie, that means that Logan just has to take off his shirt while Jessica removes every stitch before wrapping herself in the Wookie skin (or whatever kind of animal they have in the world of the movie). Her nudity was totally exploitative and, from Hack’s twisted perspective, totally mind-blowing. He immediately ran out of the theater and wrote this novelization, which is nothing more than an extended sexual fantasy where a Hack Werker-like character leaps into the scene and performs unspeakable perversions with Ms. Agutter.
Although not a success in its first printing, it sells well today at science fiction conventions.